Staying Here
by RealizeMyRealEyes
Summary: Continuation of 'Finding Refuge' Marley and Ryder, so enveloped in their perfect relationship, move on to adventure the lives of college students. They cross highs and lows, and Marley begins to question her decisions that have gotten her to where she is. Now, is she as prepared for a new beginning as she thought she was? Warning: Strong sexual content later on.
1. Chapter 1

**HELLO! Oh, my Gleeks, I am so siked to be back! **

**This, as you should know, is a sequel... IF you want to make sense of this plot, I STRONGLY suggest you read "Finding Refuge".**

**Also, a Smut warning for later chapters! You lil' niblets better watch out.**

**Disclaimer: GLEE IS NOT MINE**

**Without further ado, here is Chapter One of Staying Here!**

* * *

~Time flies. I guess that's all I can really say while standing up on the stage of the graduation ceremony. And I guess I could really say I never saw it coming so fast. The senior class had already received the finely imprinted diplomas, encased in a smooth, red- leathered binding, and currently partook in the audience.

As far as my eyes could see, every graduate clutches their certificates tightly with smiles alongside their family. I scan the crowd once more from my spot on stage, hoping my own flesh and blood is positioned where she said she'd be. And, she certainly is.

I smile graciously to my Aunt, meeting her warm, bubbled- with- happy- tear filled eyes.

She waves to me like a maniac monkey, swaying her camera back and forth. What a crazy woman. But I love the heck out of her for it. Truth be told, she's only ever been able to see me perform about once or twice, and was extremely hasty this morning while preparing for this moment.

Speaking of which, the rest of the Glee clubbers stand on the left and right side of me, grinning from ear to ear to one another. With nothing left to do, we await the dim of the audience lights, preparing to begin our last performance ever on this stage as a McKinley High students.

Nerves stir through my veins, and I can't help the little bob of anxiety my heeled- foot does or the biting of the inside of my cheek. We are graduating. I am graduating! Starting a new life!

The thought makes me smile.

As the lights finally dim, and the stage's spot lights focus, I take a deep inhale to calm the biting fear and racing heart. To my right, Ryder nudges me with his elbow, offering a small smile as if he feels the same way. He stood as the median of the long line of Glee goers, standing in the direct middle of the stage.

I lean into his shoulder quickly, welcoming the touch, and pull away as the first beats of the music ring out.

Immediately, the song is recognized by nearly the entire audience, and hooplas are called from the seats. I smile and watch as Blaine strolls up front, coming from behind the rest of us. He smiles, licks his lips, and holds the cordless mic up to his mouth.

"You shout it out,  
But I can't hear a word you say.  
I'm talking loud,  
not saying much."

Perfect, even better than the many rehearsals we've had prepping us for this day. Tina steps forward from her spot near the left end of the line. Her gown sways with a graceful walk as she evens her stance with Blaine's.

"I'm criticized,  
But all your bullets ricochet.  
Shoot me down,  
but I get up."

The rhythm changes and morphs into the familiar chorus's beat, and I could see members of the audience opening their mouths in preparation to sing along.

"I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose.  
Fire away, fire away."

Sam.

"Ricochet, you take your aim.  
Fire away, fire away."

And then there's Kitty. Now, I watch as Ryder steps forward. His Adam's apple bobs in a nervous gulp as he lifts the mic to his perfect lips.

"You shoot me down,  
but I won't fall,  
I am titanium!"

He sings with power, silencing the audience and capturing all attention. And then it's my turn to join in for a harmony with him. I move forward, heels clicking quietly as I meet by his side.

"You shoot me down,  
But I won't fall,  
I am titanium!"

We break out into the choreographed dance, Ryder grabbing ahold of my hand and spinning me to his right side. I briefly see Artie's wheelchair swivel around on an exact wheelie, Kitty on the driver's lap. Everyone is in their designated position with their partner, and we begin the techniques.

I, along with every other girl in each pair, kick my leg up on the correct beat, and skip forward. 'Wait for it, wait for it…' Ryder's hand appears on my waist, and he so easily lifts me in a bridal carry, spinning around with arm tight around my legs and shoulders.

When he stops, I leap out and kneel on the ground, pleased to know everyone else held that very stance. The music tunes out, the auditorium suddenly becoming silent, before the mixed track continues.

Ryder stands from his crouch, walking forward with ease and microphone close to his lips.  
"Stone-hard, machine gun  
Firing at the ones who run"

I follow his moves and swallow a lump in my throat. My biggest part of the song; the part that everyone needs to remember, as so easily put by Finn.

"Stone-hard as bulletproof gla- ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahss!"

My near belch cued the rest of the Glee club to rise from their ground position and find the line again. It was time for us to all sing, a perfect harmony.

"You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium,"

"You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium,"

"You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium,"

"You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium!"

The crowd erupts in a string of howls, sobs, and joy. My fellow clubbers jump from their ending positions and run together, hugging, crying, and oh, it's a mess. But a good mess.

I unite with Ryder and leap into his expectant arms, my gown swaying around as he effortlessly twirls me and kisses me. "Are you ready?" He says after setting me back down, keeping me close with a large hand on my waist.

"Ready for what?" I question over the sounds of the standing ovation, glancing back to the seniors and family members. They still cheered, confirming that this had been our best performance so far within the walls of McKinley. My eyes meet Ryder's. "The start of a new life." He stated it so simply, that if it were any other year, I probably would've scoffed at his blandness. But now, hearing it from his smiling mouth, I know it withholds so much more than that.

Without answering his question, I grin and tiptoe to peck his cheek. Turning to face the crowd, I grab his hand, and everyone seemed to decipher my memo. We gradually become a long line again, holding hands, and laughing. On perfect key, we bow forward to our audience, and under my breath, I mutter, "To a new start."

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**Next Chapter: Marley and Ryder get settled in to the college life, in some very fascinating ways.**

**Review or don't, I wont be bothersome about that :3**

**See you in Chapter Two!**

**~Loves&Hugs~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay... A little NSFW here... you have been cautioned...**

**Diclaimer: Nopity Nope, Glee isn't mine.**

* * *

~"I think that's it." I peer over the mass of stacked boxes to the flop of brown hair. My hand sneaks across to ruffle it about, earning an annoyed look from the eyes of the beholder. He grins and rises from his crouch, setting aside some of the smaller boxes on the bland nightstand.

So far, my door room is an abundant amount of cardboard and four white walls. My roommate has yet to make an appearance, leaving Ryder and I alone to set up the small area.

"Great. Now all I have to do is unpack _everything,_" I say, arranging another box. Ryder gives an amused look, sitting on the white excuse of a bed.  
"Well, that's why I'm here, right?" A sly smile plays at his lips and I stifle the urge to throw a heavy box at him. Well, it _is_ true. He took time out of his organizing to assist me.

He watches as I feign anger, a victorious grin splaying across his cheeks.

"Oh? So that's why you're sitting down? Relaxing while the woman does all the work?" Mock annoyance filters my tone, and I cross my arms. He holds his hands up in defense, and then pats the spot next to him on the bed. Accepting the invite, I huff and make my way over.

I previously made the assumption this would be a ton of work, but an hour just to transport all of the belongings to the third floor? That is uncalled for.

I feel bad enough for making Ryder help me… no wait, I'm not making him, he's just doing it. Said boyfriend pulls me half into his lap, enlacing our fingers as if testing my patience.

"If you're wondering about all my stuff, don't worry. I'm a guy, so I only have, like, one box. And my Xbox. So two boxes total. I'll be done in no time." He reassures, arm circling my shoulder. I relax in his sweet aroma, basking delightfully in the oncoming warmth.

"I just wish it could be all done… I mean, I do have better things to do in my life." My eyes widen in shock as I realize what I said, and before I could elaborate, I feel soft lips just above my ear, pressing a small kiss to that spot. They trail down until ghosting the tissue of my ear shell, an involuntary shiver racking my spine.

"Better things like this?" Husky, all too familiar, and lusting. I nod, head falling back onto his shoulder. My eyes flutter close, his lips meeting the crook of my neck. He places wet, red marks there, two, three, and I sigh, still unable to comprehend all the things he can do to me.

And I guess I could say some animalistic prowess takes control, because the next thing I know, I am on top, pushing him back into the not- so- lavish pillows. His arms encircle my waist, conjoining us at the groin. I look down at him through thick lashes, putting my most seductive smile for show. A kiss, teasing yet tender, is placed against his lips. He works to part my own, infiltrating them with haste, tongue testing mine in succulent massages.

After a moment of our tongues delving into each other's depths, I try something new; seeing as our hips are pressed firmly together, I begin grinding, skirt and all, into his front. He noticeably falters in his tongue mastery, pausing a moment to groan heavily. I obtain the opportunity to suckle a spot on his neck, revenge for the love marks he'd planted on mine.

My skirt begins riding up, revealing more skin, skin Ryder doesn't hesitate to grope. In my motions, I feel a familiar sensation tickling the spot between my legs, but not quite where I want it. I adjust over the tent in his jeans, breaking from his neck. He deflates in my move, or lack thereof, and grunts impatiently, thumbs tracing my thighs.

When placed, I resume my labor, finally feeling the breaching tip of his male-hood against the bundle of nerves of my clitoris, even if through his jeans (which, might I say created perfect texture against that part). I stifle a groan, hoping to not break first, but fall short when he begins to rub up against me.

"Couldn't hold up… for that long… huh?" A cheeky grin fills his face, but I don't answer, and instead focus on the pleasure.

We haven't done it in a while… with graduation, and college. Time was full on our hands, and all I wanted to do was to seek out that desire that's been running through my veins the past two months. I guess I found it.

Ryder, effortlessly and startling, flips me over. Now on top, he twists us, a position confusing to my mind. He stands up right on the floor, turning me until my bottom is at the edge of the side of the bed.

My elbows rise to their potential, propping me up against gravity, and I watch with a crooked eyebrow as he separates my legs around his waist. Then, he lifts my knees and hooks them completely around his arms.

My orange skirt, in disarray around my waist, reveals the boyshorts only Ryder is allowed to see.

_'What is he doing? We've never done this-' _ My thoughts are interrupted as he slams his crotch into the crevice of my underwear, earning a gasp of shock and pleasure from my mouth. He pauses slightly, but does it again, and again, and again until there is a consistent pace.

A rubbing pattern, complete with a flurry of poundings, and I am at a loss for thoughts. He grinds his hips into my core until I am tempted to belch, and then he berates the wet of my boyshorts until I feel like my head is concaving.

Seriously, why haven't we done this before?

Ryder sweats with a determined expression, and I guess he's just never done it this way before. I almost feel for him; standing while giving his girlfriend the most mind- blowing safe sex ever.

The metal bedframes screeches in protest, grating against the wall. God, we must be causing a racket… but it is totally worth it.

His fingers travel down to finish me off, swirling beneath the cotton lining of my underwear and pressing inside my glistening core.

Nearly at the end, I swivel my hips in turn with his, eyes clamping shut at the sensation.

And then the dorm door opens.

* * *

**Okay, I understand... I am a jerk and a total hypocrite because I gave you a cliffy even though I fucking hate them myself. It's quite late, so the creative juices stopped flowing in the midsts of writing this chapter, so, YOLO. **

**This scene might have been abrupt, but it sort of leads on to a chain of things you broskillets will read later on. I actually planned this time, so I'm not winging it... say HOOPLA for Arianna's planning skills!**

**NEXT CHAPTER:  
The mystery door opener is revealed and gives off a questionable vibe, and Marley undergoes the fresh beginnings of college life with a whole new attitude.**

**~Loves&Hugs~**


	3. Chapter 3

**Allow me to explain why the long wait... After this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Glee ain't mine, folks. It just ain't mine.**

* * *

~"Yeah, I-WHOA WHOA WHOA!" In a flash of a second, Ryder and I separate upon the on- comer's entry. Chests heaving and eyes wide, we both look to the girl in the doorway, who looks right back at us, surprise evident on her features.

"Hayley, let me call you back." She pulls the phone from her ear before the person on the other end of the line has a chance to answer, and a nervous gulp lodges inside my throat as I try catching my breath.

She is definitely around my age, obviously dyed- black hair framing a youthful face and blue eyes. Her clothing is simple; a stylish red cardigan over a black tank top, and boot cut blue jeans defining lengthy, slim legs. In her hand, a large suitcase... This is not how I expected meeting my roommate.

Ryder suddenly clears his throat, standing from the floor. He gives me an apologetic look and moves to the doorway. I hear him mumble a shy "hello" to the girl, who in return smiles with raised eyebrows.

"I'll see you later, Marls." He doesn't wait for an answer, and I don't expect him to. He leaves the room with haste, and I blush furiously upon seeing the bulge still erect against the front of his denims. Oh, goodness.

"Um... Hi...?" She laughs awkwardly and looks around the room, as if pretending she didn't see us. Then she meets my eye. "I'm guessing your Marley," My brain searches for the other name signed on my dorm packet. She waves my confused expression away, and smiles politely, saying, "Don't worry if you don't remember. I'm Nikki. Nikki Reynolds."

She holds out her hand and I look at it, imagining what she could be thinking. Then I grasp her palm and mimic the greeting gesture as if what just happened... didn't happen.

When she and I pull away, I watch her circle the space with a sigh. So she and I feel the same way about the cramped room.

"I was so excited to be moving out of my house and living on campus… but not so much anymore." She flings her suitcase onto her bare mattress, and flops down right next to it, kicking her legs up with a somewhat exasperated sigh.

"I mean- I know I'll miss my parents, but come on, lodged inside an apartment with them for eighteen years? I wouldn't be surprised if I would have had to go to counseling if I stayed any longer." She seems nice enough, so I let her talk to me without butting in. She tells me how her boyfriend is on his way to becoming a Marine, and how she feels half empty without him. Though, her frown disappears once she looks over to me as she mentions 'boyfriend'.

"So was he yours? Or just a quick fling?" Her mouth gapes as she realizes what she had said. "Wait- I mean-" My laughter ceases her. Thank God Ryder isn't just that.

"No, he's my boyfriend." Nikki breaks out into a grin. I look down at my hands, smiling alongside her. "His name is Ryder. We've been together for a couple of months, but I've known him for much longer."

"Oh, those are the best relationships. That's how me and Bryce are; We met at the seventh grade banquet, but never really hit it off until late ninth grade." I smile at her admission. I can't help but feel bad that they are departing after so much time together; Whether just a couple or long- time friends, I know her heart must be breaking.

She smiles at me sadly, as though she knows what I'm thinking, but then she hops up from her bed and stands in front of me. "Come on. Let's go exploring... And eating." Her hand comes out playfully, and I grab it with just as much enthusiasm. She pulls me from my bed and leads me out of the door.

I have a feeling this is going to be a very unique friendship.

* * *

~ My Aunt told me she wanted to see me one last time before I became, and I quote, "A monstrous bookworm". So I drove to Lima with Ryder, where he planned on saying one last goodbye to his family, and met up with my aunt at the Lima Bean.

When I first walk in, I notice her nursing a large coffee while watching passing cars. She has a longing look in her eyes, as though she's deep in thought, and I can already tell what it is about. I walk over, hands in jacket pockets, and stand before her booth. It takes a moment for her to realize I am there, and when she does, she looks at me and a grin spreads and colors her cheeks. "I should've known even moving in for you wouldn't take too long."

I roll my eyes at the irony, but bend down to hug her anyway. She had already ordered, apparently when I had texted her that I was almost there, so as soon ad I sit down, I am greeted with steamy Chicken Noodle Soup by the waitress.

The aroma is near incredible, and I am almost tempted to shove my face into it. But I disregard the need and look to my Aunt, saying, "Nothing beats your Chicken- Noodle." She laughs wholeheartedly, and enlaces her fingers.

"Why, of course I know that. But, you'll have to wait until the holidays when your home to have some," her voice trails off softly. I feel my brow tug in concern and equal sadness, and I reach forward and clasp my hand over her joined ones.

"Think of it this way," I say with a stiff grin. "Four years and I'll be done forever, and you can cook me up some of the greatest Chicken Noodle you ever thought about making." She smiles and cocks a brow. "Or chowder." Then she laughs hard. That's an inside story of a particular event that took part two years ago. Long story short, clam chowder exploded onto the kitchen walls.

"Oh, never again." She says with tears in her eyes. Then she squeezes my hands tightly. "I'm just going to miss you, Marls." I feel myself deflate in the booth and look down to her wrinkled palms.

That's the problem with "starting a new life"; you have to sacrifice much. And this is my sacrifice. Sitting there with tears in front of me. I look up into her warm eyes, smiling sadly.

"I'll miss you too."

* * *

**So, THAT was emotional to write. Sorta.**

**Basically, I have been getting really busy.**

**That's it.**

**Its mid-year, I have a buttload of tests... Its that much. I'm using my free time to type for FanFic (Because I love you all and can't have you waiting TOO long), so I am practically typing on my phone whenever I have the chance.**

**Life, right?**

**Reviewers of whom i adore:**

**-Ember411**

**-Le Guest**

**-TeaAndGlee**

**-Savanna Ramirez**

**Anywho****, review or don't, I will cherish all support.**

**~Loves&Hugs~**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ah, the sweet smell of posting.**

**Disclaimer: NO.**

* * *

~I really do miss my Aunt. It's already been two months into college, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't a monstrous bookworm. Ryder didn't have as many classes because of his football scholarship, but his dyslexia still proves to be difficult as I am always helping him out with certain things.

Small things. Ever since Sophomore year, when his "treatment" started, he's been getting much better. So, all I have now are my classes, textbooks, and Ryder. And it doesn't help that I have had the flu for about a week, so add a toilet for puking to that list.

"I'll be home for Christmas! I promise."

"But won't they let you home any earlier?" I roll my eyes and smile at the woman on the other end of the line.

"Auntie, I get the whole two weeks with you. Don't worry; you'll see me so much that you might just end up kicking me out." She laughs heartily into my ear, and I feel my heart growing warm.

"Oh, Marls, you can annoy me as much as you'd like but I could never force you out of the house… not even if you decide to delete all my recorded Judge Judy's." I giggle, situating myself onto the bed of my dorm room. "I'll talk to you later, okay?" She says.

"I'll _see_ you later,"

"Love you, dearie."

"Love you Auntie, bye."

"Bye, sweet heart."

I hang up, cross my ankles, and direct my attention to the little art project Nikki has set out on the floor. Turns out, we are really good friends.

She is an extremely talented artist who longs to be in museums, and I'm a decent vocalist who longs to have concerts.

The girl decorated her half of the room with old paintings and photography of hers, reminders of her beginnings in art, she said. She even offered me lovely portraits of floral designs, which are the epitome of color on my half. She's quite the master at masterpieces.

Right now, she is piecing together a mosaic. I can't yet make out what the blue and green shards of glass represent, because she isn't finished yet, and refuses to tell me what it is of. So I sit back, let the silence consume me, and watch her work.

The funny thing is, Nikki's boyfriend, Bryce, is Ryder's roommate. We all actually discovered this upon a double date Nikki suggested. So as we all met up, the boys started laughing and clapping each other's shoulders. We all had a great deal of joy after it was explained they knew each other.

"Hey, do you know if we have anymore pudding?" Nikki's voice shakes me from my thoughts. I ponder her question, and then recall throwing away the package.

"No, we're out. I'll run and get some. I know it's your creativity food."

"Ah, you know me so well. Thanks babe. Take the ten from my purse. And get chocolate this time!" I stifle laughter, and make my way to her handbag. I take the ten, wave her goodbye, and head out the door.

* * *

~"Hey, you want to come with me to the store?" He's probably still doing his research project, and if he is, I would regret asking him to come in the first place. The boy needs to do his work, and I can't be the girlfriend who totes him around to keep his mind off his grades. "Yeah, I'll come." I can hear the haste in his tone.

"Did you finish your project?"

"…no…" At least he's being honest, another reason why I love him. I sigh loudly into the phone, demonstrating my "annoyance".

"Well, that's too bad. You can come next time."

"Ugh, why can't you just be nice and keep me away from Shakespeare for a while?"

"Because if I did, you would be back in Lima right now, flipping burgers. I'll see you later."

"Bye, you jerk." I laugh at his inner child, and hang up the phone, heading down the stairs out to the parking lot.

As I reach my car, my handing wrapping around the door handle, I am forced forward, hands on knees. I groan out in pain, and urge myself not to puke right now. It's been a nasty flu. Ryder even partially insisted on baby- sitting me, until I threatened to throw up on him and infect him.

Once my gagging episode is over, I stand straight, hand going to my head to feel a sudden heat pulsating and throbbing against my skull. I might need to see a doctor. And get some medicine from the store alongside the pudding. Oh, pudding sounds like the perfect head and stomach soother.

I cautiously sit down in the car seat, taking a moment to wear off any lasting- dizziness or need to spew chunks. Once I feel as though I am fine, I start up the little car and make way for the store.

* * *

~"Pudding… pudding, pudding…" I mutter beneath my breath, alone in the snack aisle. Nikki said she wanted chocolate, but there are like four different types of chocolate… How am I supposed to work with this? Without thinking, I grab ahold the nearest regular chocolate snack- pack, and hightail out of the aisle before my stomach orders me around.

I briefly wonder whether or not Ryder would want anything, but then again, it's Nikki's money, and I'll already have to pay her back for the Ibuprofen I have. He can fend for himself.

Besides, with his dashing scholarship to play football, a sugary sweet such as pudding should be the last thing he needs to eat.

After having a nice conversation about kittens with the little old lady at the register, I take my bags out to the parking lot. The fresh air is delightful, but the sensation doesn't last long enough.

The head- ache suddenly returns, and I pause in the middle of the road to rub it away. I take slow steps, and then I am suddenly leaning forward, throat clenching to prevent the oncoming mess. It's a replay of what happened as I was leaving the school, and all I can do is wait it out like the many times before. I'd hate to throw up in public. Luckily, nothing comes out, and I question my body's behavior with a raised eyebrow.

But I can't do any more than that.

I didn't see the headlights. I didn't hear the squeal of brakes. All I felt was the smack of the pavement, and all I see is imminent darkness.

* * *

**Holy daffodil. That was a long- wait. I hope this chappy made up for it, though. **

**I'm so sincerely sorry it took so long. I'm on my Spring Break now, so this is how I will spend it; sharing my love for you guys by finally posting, so WOO- HOO!**

**And I HATE, absolutely loathe, cliffhangers. So I will be as quick as I can muster with posting a new chapter. Hoo- Rah!**

**NEXT CHAPTER:**

**What the flapping flappy bird happens to Marley? How about that pudding? All will be revealed within the next... THREE DAYS.**

**To my Home-diggities:**

**~TeaAndGlee**

**~Ember411**

**~savanna ramirez 35**

**~Guest (Make a damn account so I know which one you are XD)**

**Thank you all for sticking with me! I love you guys. Stay awesome!**

**And B-T-Dubs: Did anyone else notice Marley and Ryder's interactions this past episode? No spoilers, but I will say, I have a feeling Marley's gonna want to place her love upon him soon... if you know what I mean ;)... Ew, not that you sick pervs XD.**

**~Loves&Hugs~**


	5. Chapter 5

**As I said... Within three days... or four... whatever. **

**Disclaimer: "I don't know about you, but I'm feeling-" like I do not own Glee.**

**WARNING: Pleahse do not become saddened to bone. This chapter gets sort of emotional.**

* * *

~The thing about hospitals is that I can point one out just by the smell. That antiseptic stench that burns the nose is recognizable in nearly any situation. Even when all I can do is listen to the fading in and out of my surroundings.

I've grown accustomed to the environment, seeing as every time my mother felt odd or shaken, we would have to visit the E.R. That continued for some time, until the visits lead up to her death. Luckily, I didn't have to stand the stench or view of a hospital then.

She always told me, sitting there on the examination table, that I never had to come along, and how she knew how I felt about those places.

It's just, underneath all the good hospitals do, I know there is still much death. And I cannot stand the idea of a non- beating heart.

For all I know, though, mine is still beating. Because I'm thinking, breathing… how does that work without a functioning heart? My eyes are closed, and I can't seem to come to reality. It's like I'm free falling in an endless black abyss, yet without the sensation of falling. Everything is still.

A light, dim yet fully inviting, centers my focus. It grows larger and larger, and as it does, my body feels less numb and sounds become enhanced. And suddenly, I am being pulled through, and my eyes fly open.

Everything is foggy, glassy, and bright. My eyes take a moment to adjust to the colors and I am welcomed to the non- surprising view of a hospital room. I knew the antiseptic smell meant something.

As my sight becomes clear, I groan at the pounding in my head. I certainly have seen better days. The only thing I can remember in being hunched over in the middle of the road at that super market. This most definitely means I was hit by a car.

My hand is suddenly being squeezed, gently, and I turn to the flop of brown hair against the dull green sheet of the hospital bed. Ryder is snoozing softly, body twisted in what must be a very uncomfortable position in the arm chair. I reach my other hand over, and cautiously pat his tufts. My ribcage feels very tight, but other than that, I must have only gotten out with scrapes and bruises.

The beholder of the hair lifts his head, eyes swollen, not with tears, but with agitation against the sheets. It takes a moment for him to realize I am awake, and when he does, I am greeted with the most sincere and concerned look.

He leans forward, forehead resting against mine, and squeezes my hand tighter. I hear a bubble of what sounds like relief vibrate through his chest, and he uses his other hand to cup my cheek.

"I was so worried," I let him share his words of grief. "I thought you were dead." He says with sorrow, pulling back to kiss my chin. I want to smile, to tell him I am very much _not_ dead. But I can't get my mouth to open. I can't find my speech, and when I try to open my mouth, it feels as though my tongue is flopping around in attempt to be coherent.

"The doc says you won't be able to speak for a while… You were in an induced coma for three days," My mind blanks after that. Three days? It just feels as though I were sleeping the whole time. "She said the effects of the meds will wear off soon… are you okay?"

I nod, unsure of myself, and lift the sheets to reveal a plastic casting around my middle. "You also cracked two ribs… Jesus, Marls, I'm never leaving you to get pudding again. Don't ask me how I knew it was pudding. You were covered it when you got here." I wanted to laugh at that, but a weird crackly noise emitted from my throat instead.

I take a gander of the entire room, and there is no sign of my Aunt. "She'll be here soon. She actually called about an hour ago and said the plane was almost here." I look over to him. How long will I be here? How long have _you _been here? I want to ask him this, but I fear I won't like the answers.

A woman in white emerges from the door, shutting it gracefully behind her. She looks up from her clipboard and a flash of surprise covers her features. "Oh, great, you're up," She smiles and sets down the metal board. Like all the doctor shows I've seen, she walks over to me and tilts my head back gently to observe my eyes. A flashlight appears from her coat pocket and she wastes no time in shining it into my eyes.

I gauge her reaction to be that of good news, because she smiles nicely and pulls away. "I don't know if Ryder here told you, but you will not be able to talk for a couple more hours. You were heavily medicated for three days. So I just want you to nod yes, or shake no. I'm going to ask you some questions."

She asks me a few yes or no questions based around simple math equations or common American knowledge, like whether or not Obama is the reigning president. Afterward, she marks something down onto the clipboard and then… she asks Ryder to leave the room. Not forcefully, but insistently.

"Um- but," He hesitates, then glances in my direction, and I shoot him a warning look. Do as she says, Ryder. He catches on, then slowly stands and throws me a longing look over his shoulder, and I smile sadly to him.

As he is out the door, a new emotion comes across the woman. She sits down in the chair to my left and enlaces her fingers.

"Miss Rose, I am Doctor Brenda McKinney, head of Pediatrics." She pauses. Why would pediatrics be here? Probably because I'm barely considered to be an adult.

"The car accident, luckily, was not too bad. You fractured two ribs upon impact, but other than that, you will be just fine." I sigh in relief, but curl in confusion when she looks down, almost sadly. I bite my lip, anxious to hear what she hesitates to say. Then, she looks up and meets my eyes.

"Marley, I am so sorry. I'm guessing you did not know, but… you were… pregnant."

* * *

~Doctor McKinney gave me time alone. She left, and said she would ask for me not to be bothered unless I wanted people with me. I shook my head. No, I need some time alone. Alone to think. To silently put all the pieces together.

And after I made sense of the situation, I didn't feel the need to cry. But I sat there. And wallowed in pain, and regret. Tears do not slip, even in the midst of the sadness I am feeling, but on the instead I am crying. I am dying. My heart is breaking, and I can only question why. Why I am so sad over something- someone- who I do not know or did not know until minutes ago.

I feel over my stomach, which is encased in the plastic, and a sob escapes my lips.

A baby, boy or girl, is in there right now… but without a beating heart.

* * *

~Hours must have passed by, and a knock on the door does little to break the silence enveloping me. I don't answer, but the person still comes in.

It's Ryder. He seems distressed. Jaw clenched behind tight lips, eyes squinted and hair a mess. So he knows too.

He slowly steps forward, at the edge of my bed. "I don't even know what to say." His voice is raw, and closer now, I can see his puffy eyes. "I spent this whole time waiting out there, wondering what I would say to you." He moves to the side of the bed, and sits down.

It was his baby; his baby too. And his child is also gone. Whether he would've wanted it or not, it was his. He and I share relative pain, and I can see that just by the way his Adam's apple bobs and the way his eyes move over my mid-section in aching sadness.

He lies down on the bed, close so he doesn't fall off the edge. I allow him space, scooting over slightly, a silent insist for him to accompany me on this.

He situates himself at my side, arm wrapping around my shoulder to gently pull me into him. His nose is against the top of my head, and I feel his small breaths puffing into my hair. At last, he says, "I'm sorry."

And as much as I want to tell him it is nowhere near his fault, I know he would never believe me. So I muster up as much a voice as possible and croak out the only words I am thinking.

"It's okay."

No more is spoken between us. Nothing more can be said. We are both suffering an indecipherable and indescribable pain. And we carry that pain to sleep.

* * *

**You know, it makes me happy to know that Melissa Benoist and Blake Jenner are getting married soon, and I hope to god this story does not become a reality for them. They are the freaking cutest couple ever.**

**This one was sort of difficult to write. I have never experienced such thing, but I am fully aware of the devastation that comes with it. **

**To my bomb- diggities:**

**~Guest **

**~TeaAndGlee**

**~Ember411**

**You guys are the best. Loads of invisible cookies are currently being sent by mail.**

**I'll see you guys on the flippity flop.**

**~Loves&Hugs~**


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